Step 1. Remember that you cannot control other people and they cannot control you.
Step 2. Be calm.
If everyone is not calm throughout the entire process, it may not work.
Step 3. Say what you want.
Be assertive by telling them exactly what you what without being offensive. Using “I statements” is good way to do this because you are stating what you want or how you feel.
Step 4. Listen to other people.
If you do not agree with someone wait for them to finish talking then ask them, “Why.”
Be willing to compromise
Use compassion
Step 1. What is the problem? (general overview)
Step 2. Who is involved? (people)
Step 3. Where does it occur? (location)
Step 4. When does it happen? (date and time)
Step 5. Why is it happening? (write down the specific details and your hypothesis)
Step 6. How can I solve the problem? Try the new solution.
Step 7. Review – “What can I do differently” “Is this the main problem or a reaction to the main problem” “What would happen if…” If it didn’t work don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Let’s see it in action…
1. My 2 year old is biting.
2. My child and other children around her age.
3. At childcare
4. March 3rd around 4:30pm, March 5th at 3:00pm, and March 10th at 10:00
5. On March 3rd they wanted a toy a toddler had. On March 5th I don’t know what happened before the bite took place. On March 10th they wanted a book another child was using. My child may be learning that they can get things they want when they bite.
6. I can teach my child that biting hurts and how to ask for things my pointing at them.
7. If the biting is still happening I can try a different strategy.
Step 1. What do you want to accomplish?
Step 2. Why do you want it to be done?
Step 3. Who is going to do it?
Step 4. Where will it be done?
Step 5. How is it going to be done?
Step 6. When will it be finished?
Step 7. Review
Lets see it in action…
1. I want to organize my home.
2. Because it looks better.
3. Myself
4. In the kitchen.
5. Every Saturday I will put away, donate, or throw away 5 things.
6. When I feel like the kitchen is organized the way I want it.
7. My kitchen is looking better. Next I will use a similar strategy in the living room.
Step 1. What – Create an achievable goal.
Step 2. Why – To improve your life.
Step 3. How – Break the goal down into steps that should be completed by a certain time.
Step 4. Review – If you did not complete what you set out to do…write down what happened, why it happened, and what changes can be made to be more successful next time.
Step 1. Find and save recipes in one location that your entire family likes to eat.
Step 2. Create a rotating menu using those recipes.
Step 3. Make a grocery list for the ingredients that you will need for your meals each week.
Step 4. Buy the ingredients that you will need.
Step 5. Make sure you have enough time to make the recipes each day.
These skills are not required, but will help with school readiness. They can be taught by enrolling your child in preschool or quality childcare.
MATH SKILLS
knowing the names of colors, numbers, and shapes
being able to rote count from 0 to 20
being able to count objects
identifies written numbers
can classify and sort objects by color, size, shape, etc
being able to identify big/little, more/less
able to recognize and repeat patterns
can sequence events into first, second, and third
PRE-READING
knows that books are read from top to bottom and left to right
retells familiar stories
sings songs
knows the names of upper and lowercase letters
knows some letter sounds
being able to rhyme
recognizes their name in print
PRE-WRITTING
able to draw a stick person
being able to hold a pencil like an adult (pincer grasp)
being able to use scissors and a glue stick
EMOTIONAL REGULATION
being able to calm down safely and quickly
being able to spend a long time away from parents without getting too upset
can understand facial expressions and body language
SELF HELP SKILLS
opening packages on their own
being willing to ask for help when needed
being able to use a bathroom alone
can climb up stairs alone with 1 foot on each stair
knows what to do in an emergency
APPROACHES TO LEARNING
able to stay on task
able to work independently
does not give up easily
gives work their best effort
makes decisions
can delay gratification
can do dramatic play
SOCIAL SKILLS
staying in their own space (keeping their hands/body to themselves)
being able to solve problems without using violence
able to work with other children
able to wait calmly while taking turns
plays games with rules