Email: whydokids@yahoo.com
Learn how to have a quieter day while caring for children with practical tips and tricks. Find expert advice on managing noise levels and taking turns with toys to create a peaceful environment for both you and your kids.
The best way to calm a crying child is to show them that you are calm.
First: Check to see that all of the child’s needs are being met.
Second: Make sure that you are calm. If you are not calm this will not work.
Third: Take slow even breaths holding the baby close to your chest.
Toddlers spend a lot of their day either laughing or crying. Here is a one way to turn crying into laughter.
First: Say “Why are you sad?” or “You’re sad because ____.”
Second: Listen to them. It does not matter whether you can understand what they are saying or not.
Third: Wait for them to look grumpy or be relaxed.
Fourth: Make a silly face or you can try tickling them.
Disclaimer: If you do the last step too early, they may get mad at you.
Why: They feel like they are not being listened to or they do not realize how loud they are.
Solution: Listen to them and do what they ask or discuss why you cannot do what they want. Get closer to them. Talk in a quieter voice around them.
Why: They feel like they are not being listened to or it is a habit.
Solution: Listen to them and do what they ask or discuss why you cannot do what they want. Say, “I can’t understand you when you whine.”
When children are busy they get into less trouble. Here is a list of things that may help…
1. Go outside – Kids need a lot of active play. Going outside gives them enough space to run.
2. Do chores together – Many toddlers love to clean. Let them help.
3. Give them a variety of toys to play with. Rotate the toys so they do not get bored so quickly.
When children are busy with an activity they tend to be quieter. They are not born knowing how to play with toys. They learn how by watching others. Sit down with toddlers and show them how to use the toys correctly. Bring out dramatic play materials for the children. Dramatic play is a high level of play that helps increase attention span.
Solutions: Use the power of “yet.” When a child says “I can’t do it.” Repeat to them “You can’t do it yet. You will be able to later. Learning takes time.”
Use step by step instructions. You can help them do the first steps then encourage them do the last step alone.
Build self-esteem by giving genuine and specific praise. Such as, “You did it! You _______.” Saying things like “Good job” all the time will not work for this.
While you are busy cooking or doing dishes, you can ask 1 child to come help you. You can have a conversation with them to learn more their day. After awhile this will help build trust with the child. Kids are more likely to listen to an adult that they have a close relationship with.
The most common disagreement among preschoolers is over possession. They will fight over their parents, “My mom!” their siblings “That’s my sister!” their toys “I had it first!” their space “I was sitting there!” They only see their perspective. When they start Kindergarten, they are old enough to start sharing. Toddlers and preschoolers should be taking turns instead of sharing. Infants do not have that sense of possession, so it usually does not bother them if someone takes their toys.
When toddlers and preschoolers want a toy, they only see toys that someone else has. If there are similar toys laying around the room you can say, “Let’s find one.” For example; Eli has 2 cars. He sees that Cole has some cars. He wants all of Cole’s cars. I tell him “Cole is using those cars. Let’s go get some cars from the shelf.”
You can also teach children to say, “I want a turn when you’re finished.”
Remind children part of taking turns is waiting for your turn.
Set a timer for taking turns.
When you are not sure who should get the first turn…they can play rock, paper, scissors to see who goes first. They can also do a competition such as, who can be quiet the longest.
If taking turns is not working, try trading instead. Trading is easier for toddlers.
You do not always have to take turns or share. If there are enough toys, splitting the materials usually works better. When each child gets half of the blocks, cars, crayons, etc there is less reason to fight.
Roy keeps saying “It’s my turn” to Ruth when it is not.
Adult: “Let’s set a timer so you will know when it is your turn.”
Roy stops bothering Ruth and starts looking at the timer instead.
NOTE: 3 to 5 minutes are a good time limit for toddlers and preschoolers when taking turns.
Emily comes up to me she says, “Roxy took my bag.”
I say, “Let’s go get it back.”
Emily goes to Roxy puts out her hand then assertively says, “Back.”
Roxy whines.
I tell Emily “Let’s go find another one to trade.”
Emily does, then we trade with Roxy.
Emily and Roxy are taking turns with a toy.
Roxy says “My turn.”
A few seconds later Emily says “My turn.”
They keep taking turns with the toy for several minutes.
Roy and Alex both want the same cape.
Alex: “Let’s do a competition to see who gets the cape first. Let’s see who can jump the longest.”
Roy: “Okay.”
DISCLAIMER: Doing a competition may cause the loser to cry creating another problem.
Emily and Roxy are playing together.
Roxy collects all of the blocks then walks away.
Emily stands in one spot with her hand out.
She says “Give it back.”
Roxy is walking around whining “No.”
Roxy accidentally drops the blocks.
Emily helps her pick them up.
She gives most of the toys back to Roxy.
Emily keeps one for herself.
Ruth and Leon are coloring.
Leon gets a crayon from the middle of the table.
Ruth says, “That’s mine!”
Leon is upset because Ruth has 10 crayons in front of her and he only has 1.
I tell Ruth that Leon needs more crayons to be fair.
Remember that asking a child to share their toy phone is like asking an adult to share their cell phone.
