Email: whydokids@yahoo.com
Find expert advice and practical solutions for your parenting journey with infants and toddlers.
Problem: An infant or toddler is trying to get away while changing their diaper.
Why: They want to play.
Solution: Give them a small toy to play with.
Disclaimer: If they are upset this will not work.
Problem: A toddler is running away when it is time to go.
Why: Toddlers usually do this because they want to play with you.
Solution: Walk away and close the door if you can. They may come find you. Play more chasing games, like tag, when you have time.
Problem: A toddler is dumping out their drink on the table and playing in it.
Why: They are bored or want to play.
Solution: Give your child more time to play with water. You can do this by letting them play in the bathtub or using a water table.
Problem: A child is biting.
Why: There are a lot of reasons why toddlers bite. They could be teething, want something, fighting back, need sensory stimulation, etc.
Solutions: Give them a wet frozen washrag or teething ring to bite on. When toddlers start talking they normally stop biting. Learn and teach them some sign language. Sometimes they will continue biting their shirt. This may be a need for sensory simulation.
Problem: A child is hitting.
Why: They are angry or want to play.
Solutions: Remove the person or thing making them angry. Tell them, “hitting hurts. Keep hands to self.” Show them how to give high fives. Play with them so they learn how.
Disclaimer: If someone else is hitting too, this can be very difficult behavior to stop.
Problem: A toddler is flicking light switches on and off.
Why: Toddlers do this often. They are learning that the switch is connected to the light bulb. It is like a magic trick to them.
Solution: To reduce this behavior get cause and effect toys with buttons or switches. Toy phones are good for this.
Problem: A toddler will not let you help them.
Why: Toddlers go through a “Me do it” stage of development. While very frustrating, this is good because it teaches them independence. They usually want to put their own clothes on and may try to use the potty.
Solution: Let them try to do what they want to do alone. If they fail, they will probably ask for help.
Problem: A child is having a temper tantrum.
Why: They want something that you have already said “No” to.
Solution: Do not give in. Walk away if you can. If you are at a store, it is best if someone takes the child home. When the child is calm explain why they can’t have what they want.
Problem: Your child does not want to go to childcare.
Why: They want to spend time with you and do not like transitions.
Solution: Talk with your child about why you need to go. Ask them questions about what they do in childcare. Or tell them “I will always come back to pick you up.” Ask the childcare provider, “How long does my child cry after I leave?” 15 seconds to 3 minutes is the average length of time.
Problem: A 1 year old walks around hitting kids.
Why: They want to play. They are learning what behavior is acceptable.
Solution: Teach the 1 year old how to give high fives. Tell the older children to give him a high five or walk away. If the 1 year old is hitting with a toy in his hand; take the toy away and say “Ouch, hitting hurts.”
Problem: A toddler is unrolling all the toilet paper.
Why: They are bored. The toilet paper looks interesting.
Solution: Keep the bathroom door closed and hope they don’t know how to open it, or lock it.
Problem: A toddler keeps accidentally hurting themselves.
Example: They are running into walls, standing up under a table and hitting their head, getting their fingers pinched in doors, etc.
Why: They are learning where their body is in relation to their environment.
Solution: They will learn this skill on their own. When they stop crying; point to where they got hurt and what hurt them. Tell them how they got hurt.
Problem: A toddler falls to the ground when they are upset.
Why: They are learning how to calm themselves down.
Solution: Take deep breaths near them. Rub their back if it helps. Tell them how they are feeling, “You are upset.” Tell them why they got upset. “You wanted ______.”
Problem: An infant or toddler is squirming around and getting fussy when you pick them up.
Why: They probably don’t want to be picked up.
Solution: Put them down and see what happens.
Problem: A toddler keeps taking their clothes off.
Why: They think it is fun. They are learning a new skill.
Solution: Tell them they will get cold. Help them put their clothes back on.
Problem: A toddler keeps throwing toys down the stairs.
Why: They are bored. They want to see what will happen.
Solution: Try to block off the area. Distract the child. Or say, “I don’t like it when you throw toys downstairs. You can throw balls in this basket.”
Problem: A 1 year old is taking toys from other kids.
Why: They do not know that is not okay. They are learning about their environment.
Solution: Tell the older children that can play at the table or in a corner. That will make it harder for the 1 year old to reach their toys. The older children can ask for their toy back and trade with the toddler.
